Last night, while I was having a good old sleep, no doubt dreaming of some fascinating science I’d read about (‘cus that’s all I should be dreaming about now, right?), I dreamily began to suspect that someone was in my room.
There was. A Burglar.
Though that’s not what I thought of initially. At first, I thought maybe it was a housemate, somehow taking a wrong turn as they’d come down the stairs.
Slowly, through the warm fuzzy blanket of sleep I began to realise I was actually awake and not dreaming this.
My brain did it’s quick preflight check:
- Number of arms: 2 – “check”
- Number of legs: 2 – “check”
- Head – present, booting up – “check”
- Existential dread: 11 – hmm, lower than normal, but, “Check”
- Expected number of people in room:1
- Sense of disappointment at expected number of people in room: “Check”
- Actual number of people in room: 2
And so, I sat bolt upright. I probably said something like: “Wha’ya Ergler cnut!”
What I actually said is lost in the mists of time now, and was probably less coherent anyway.
What I saw was the sodium lamp lit silhouette of a fairly slender man jumping off my windowsill and on to the drive. Where he proceeded to “cheese it” down the road. Continue reading